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Topper: I've fallen for you like a blind roofer.
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???: Who the hell are you talkin' to, son?
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Don Lake as Doctor: Nurse, check his penis-- is it longer than mine?
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Topper: Not playing to win is like sleeping with your sister. Sure, she's a great piece of tail with a blouse full of goodies, but it's just illegal.
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Valeria Golino as Ramada Thompson: What do you do to an elephant with three balls? You walk him, and pitch to the rhino.
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